


本当の心は?

by ercique



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:17:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9309146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ercique/pseuds/ercique
Summary: (Sunggyu is a well-built wall and Woohyun wants to break him.)





	

The summer breeze reeks of the sun and cheap alcohol. Woohyun looks out the window, the visible heat wave capturing his attention more than a boring explanation on rotational motion. If it’s like every other day, he would’ve been interested in listening, maybe even note down a few important points on some of his best days. But it’s the last class before summer break starts and half of the class stopped listening after the third question. Everyone hurried out a second right after the class ended.

 

Outside, the heat is mad. Inconsiderately in contrast with the chilling air-conditioned room they just walked out from. Woohyun’s phone rings. Howon, barely whispering together with added sign signals, asks Woohyun if he wanted to join him and his friends for lunch. Woohyun promises the next time and pulls his phone close to his ear again.

 

“Yes, yes, sir. I’ll be there by five.” Woohyun nods absentmindedly as he gives a quick glance at his watch, and starts pacing his steps back home. He got offered a job as a bartender at a bar, just a couple blocks away from his apartment. He has nothing to do during the summer break anyway, so Woohyun said he’d do it.

 

The bell chimes as he pushes the door open, a man, Woohyun assumes to be around his age, looks up at him from behind the counter, motioning him to come nearer. Woohyun walks towards the counter as he takes in the surrounding. It’s a small bar. Amber lights are dimmed and a string of music notes following a light arrangement that Woohyun is sure he has never heard before plays softly in the background. A piano is there too, fittingly set up at one corner. There aren’t many people, two couples occupying two of the round tables and two men with business forms messily spread on their table. Woohyun reckons it is still too early for it to be packed with people. His gaze falls on the man next. Their eyes met, and Woohyun thinks they’re pretty. The gaze lasted a second too long and it made him feel as if his whole self is set bare for the other to see through. Woohyun didn’t like the feeling one bit.

 

“Hi. I’m Nam Woohyun.” He says, sending a polite smile towards the man. “The new guy, yeah?” The man asks. His voice is sweet; cold－but sweet, and it’s luring Woohyun all the same as it screams danger. He only nods.

 

The man disappears for a while before he comes back with a black apron in hand. He tosses it to Woohyun from behind the counter. “Put that on, and get with me behind the counter. I’ll teach you a few tricks.” Woohyun quickly does as he says. There’s a huge glass cabinet behind the counter, all kinds of drinks neatly arranged giving it a shade of colorful hues behind the transparent glass. The man gives a long elaboration on what Woohyun is supposed to do and chunks of information about the different kinds of drinks available there. Woohyun stands close to the cabinet, his brain trying to memorize the color of the bottles and their names. “What’s important is that try to never drop any of the bottles. The last guy got fired after he broke the seventh bottle.” The man chuckled. “Also, don’t forget that you have to wear white button ups every night. You can use the back room to change.” 

 

Woohyun turns around to face him, only then noticing the too small of a gap between them. He stumbles backward, but the man grabs him by the waist and pulls towards him, their bodies flushed together. “ _ _Geez__ , what did I tell you about being careful?” And Sunggyu’s voice is low and husky, and Woohyun is too enthralled to move. He snapped out of his trance and slowly backs away this time. “I don’t believe you’ve told me your name?” The door chimes. “Kim Sunggyu.” Gray. Kim Sunggyu is too gray; both his eyes too still, too dead. Almost achromatic. But Woohyun couldn’t help but think of how the name suits him. He hears Sunggyu chuckles, before he nears the counter, hands skillfully grabbing two glasses and filling them with red wine by a brand name the customer is asking for.

 

 

Awhile later, when people starts swarming the place, and there isn’t much time to sit and relax, Woohyun tries to not break anything. They’re comfortably synchronized, what Sunggyu realized halfway through the night. But the comfort that comes with it together with his own willingness to familiarize with it scares him more than it should. It tires him. 

 

It’s almost two when the bar finally empties. Woohyun presses down his cheek on the counter letting the cool of it wave off his weariness. “Tougher than you imagined?” Sunggyu hands him a can of cold coffee. “I can handle this much.” Woohyun cracks open the can and gulps down the liquid as Sunggyu disappears to the back room.

 

“Don’t forget to switch off all the lights before you lock this place up.” Sunggyu reminds him once again, before walking out the door.

 

-

 

Having worked every night for the past two weeks, the weariness is starting to get to him. One thing that kept him intrigued is Sunggyu, they became closer over the weeks Woohyun would like to think so. Woohyun likes asking Sunggyu questions; some basic, some annoying, and also some of the more random questions. Unthinkable, as Sunggyu would often describe. And Woohyun likes Sunggyu’s choice of word.

 

“Do you prefer white chocolate or dark chocolate?”

“Dark.”

“You’re no fun.”

 

“Do you like red?”

“They’re fine.”

“What about blue?”

“They’re pretty too.”

“What’s your favorite color then?”

Silence. “I don’t know.”

 

“If I was an animal, what animal do you think I’ll be?”

“A puppy.” Sunggyu continues wiping off spilt beer on the counter.

“What would you be?”

“Me?”

Woohyun hums.

“I don’t know.” A phrase Sunggyu uses too often, Woohyun notices.

 

“Do you think another universe could exist?” Woohyun asked one night after the bar is closed and they’re both exhausted, cheeks pressed onto the cold glass table. Each holding a can of beer instead of their usual coffee.

“Somewhere, I guess it’s possible.”

“Only one other?” Woohyun’s tone sounds challenging.

Sunggyu only shrugged.

“What if there’re multiple universes?”

Sunggyu listens, motions for Woohyun to continue.

“Multiple different realities somehow intertwined to one another. Interesting, isn’t it?”

Sunggyu hummed.

“What do you wish to be in at least one of those realities, __hyung__?”

 

Sunggyu then laughs, but Woohyun sees him calculating his answers in his mind. Woohyun also knows he won’t be hearing that answer from Sunggyu, so he settles for his own idea. Not only does Woohyun has to read between the lines, but also to fill him in altogether. Because he’s not there. Because Sunggyu is nothing but a ghost; more of an idle existence.

 

__(Sunggyu is a well-built wall and Woohyun wants to break him.)_ _

 

-

 

Friday night the bar is packed with people. They haven’t even had a five minutes break for themselves, the orders keep coming. By the time more than half the bar is emptied, they’re both exhausted. “Here.” Woohyun hands Sunggyu a cold can of coffee and instead of cracking it open to drink, he holds it against his face. “Thanks.” He mumbles.

 

The sound of glass crashing onto the wall echoes through the entire bar. Woohyun looks up to see a seemingly very drunk man throwing his fist at another. A few other men started to get involved and soon enough, punches are thrown everywhere, curse words floating in the air. Woohyun quickly runs to the table and with several other men, they try to break off the fight.

 

It was harder than Woohyun expected, he thinks as he wipes his hands clean on the black apron wrapped around his waist. He had managed to politely convince them to leave after getting their bills paid. He then walks back inside to find Sunggyu missing from behind the counter. It’s weird that Sunggyu lets Woohyun deals with the situation alone so he hurries to the back room only to find Sunggyu gasping hard as he try to catch his breath. Woohyun notices the slight tremble of Sunggyu’s hands as they fumble for something from his bag. Woohyun could only watch as Sunggyu takes out two white pills from an amber bottle. Two seconds later when he could grasp the situation, he runs back to the counter to get a glass of water.

 

“Thanks.” It came out almost a whisper. He knows Woohyun wants to ask and he knows he wouldn’t have the answers to what Woohyun is looking for. Instead, Woohyun sits next to him and brings Sunggyu’s head to his shoulder. He flutters his eyes close at the sudden warmth and in that short moment, Sunggyu could only focus on the way their breaths slow down, effortlessly matching each others' rhythm.

 

-

 

Tuesday night, while Woohyun was changing clothes, in the back room, Sunggyu comes in with a cigarette tucked between his fingers. Woohyun quickly slid his shirt over his body. “Why do you smoke?” Honestly speaking, the stench irks Woohyun. “Why? Do you find it hot?” Sunggyu smirks and Woohyun would do anything to wipe that smirk off that pretty little face so he inches closer, their faces less than one inch apart. Sunggyu’s eyes widen at the sudden closeness. It is Woohyun’s turn to smirk now, “Quite the opposite actually.” He regrets it then, because he’s now staring at Sunggyu’s lips and those lips look so inviting and Woohyun couldn’t really hold himself back so he kisses Sunggyu. Sunggyu tastes like cigarette and mint mixed together, and Woohyun doesn’t think that they’re the nicest combination out there but he melts into the kiss anyway because Sunggyu kisses him back, both hands perfectly positioned against Woohyun’s chest.

 

Sunggyu is far from innocent, Woohyun knows. There has been some kind of attraction between them, he feels it. He notices the lingering touches, which brings a shudder down his spine every time. Woohyun notices the dark cloud in Sunggyu’s eyes whenever they stand a little too close that Woohyun can smell Sunggyu’s shampoo instead of his usual perfume. Woohyun notices how Sunggyu stiffens whenever their bodies brush against each other in that small confinement behind the counter.

 

Sunggyu comes off as a fantasy of some sort to Woohyun. A new adventure. A fleeting afflatus. A mystery. Keeps him amused with all that quiet to read into. Woohyun has always liked hypotheses.

 

He doesn't realize it but his mind is already building a character. A character he has in his mind, a made-up; of Sunggyu. It’s almost amusing to Woohyun; how Sunggyu speaks with concentric circles within his words. Makes Woohyun want to know him better, makes Woohyun want to break down his wall. He feels challenged. There's something about Sunggyu that attracts him, and it’s more; much more than anything he's ever felt before.

 

He thinks he's in love.

 

A mistake often made. To assume that when the surface offers so little, the depth must be unfathomable. Whatever is inaccessible must be worthwhile.

 

-

 

They’re at that alley again, just before they reach Woohyun’s block. It is dark and awfully quiet, it would’ve been eerie if Sunggyu wasn’t with him. It was one of those nights when they decided to drink beer instead of their usual coffee once the bar closes and that they both might have had too many cans than usual too. It is then that Sunggyu drives Woohyun up the wall behind them. Rough inaccurate kisses goes to all the wrong places, Woohyun’s hands desperately tugging at Sunggyu’s hair, Sunggyu’s hands aimlessly roaming under Woohyun’s shirt. Sunggyu wasn’t smoking this time but Woohyun thinks he can find traces of that weird combination again; of cigarettes and mint. They’re a mess of pants and moans quieted by more kisses. Woohyun presses wet kisses down Sunggyu’s neck and Sunggyu couldn’t help the drooping eyelids. His thigh is then subconsciously pressed up Woohyun’s crotch and Woohyun flutters his eyes close at the contact. He tugs at the leather jacket Sunggyu is wearing and pulls him closer, desperate for more friction. His hands then fumble to undo Sunggyu’s belt.

 

The kisses stop.

 

Sunggyu takes one step away from Woohyun, his piercing eyes sending a gaze that Woohyun doesn’t know how to fathom. Sunggyu’s hand then reaches Woohyun’s cheek, cupping them as he gives one last kiss before he walks away.

 

Woohyun asks Sunggyu about it the next day. “I’m no good for you, Woohyun. Let’s leave it at that.”

 

Woohyun has always been a little too curious just about anything and everything. Sunggyu sees it. It's overwhelming; the thought of having to trust someone. Someone like Woohyun. So he doesn't.

 

Sunggyu knows when Woohyun loses his muse he'd stop musing about him.

 

-

 

It was the last week of summer break. Thursday night, long after their shift has ended, they both stayed. Beer bottles laying around like drunken artifacts, empty. “I..” A hiccup. “I think I’m in love..” Another hiccup. “..with you.”

 

The glass Sunggyu had in his grip drops and shatters on the floor. He stares at Woohyun. He hates the smile that Woohyun has on and he hates that he thinks he sees Woohyun’s hopeful irises.

 

"I'm not who you think I am, Woohyun." Sunggyu says after a long silence. "The me you have in your mind isn't the real me. I'm just Sunggyu. Sunggyu who has to take two white pills everyday to calm his anxiety. Sunggyu who gets nightmares on nights he forgot to take his pills because he has a weak brain who can't survive a goddamn trauma. Sunggyu who can't trust someone just because he's scared. I'm not a mystery you can solve, not someone you can miraculously help, Woohyun." He keeps his head down.

 

"I just thought-"

"That's exactly the problem. You've been assuming all this while, do you not realize that?" His voice raised but came out dry.

"But I-"

"Go home, Woohyun."

__

__

Woohyun thinks he should be mad, but he’s not. It hits him. He thinks of the illusion he has in mind, of Sunggyu. He thinks of the amount Sunggyu lets him see, it’s unfair, he thinks.

 

__A love that never was._ _

__

__Was it all there is?_ _

 

He walks away. From the bar, from Sunggyu, from whatever there is between them, from it all.

 

-

 

His anger comes three days later. Because Sunggyu is all he thinks about, because he feels his heart is hurting somewhere. He shouldn’t be feeling this way, but he does. He’s reminded of Sunggyu’s gaze, cold but inviting. Of Sunggyu’s laugh and how he covers his mouth when he is shy. It’s endearing. Of Sunggyu’s smile, he thinks Sunggyu has the softest smile. They don’t shine, they don’t radiate happiness; they’re soft. More delicate than fragile. Woohyun decides he wants to protect that smile.

 

That night, he waits outside the bar until its closing time. When he walks in, he sees Sunggyu behind the counter arranging the last of the newly dried glasses. Sunggyu turns around at the sound of the bell chiming from above the door frame.

 

“Woohyun?”

 

“Listen. I don’t care if you’re a lost cause, I don’t care that you’re not a mystery I can solve. I might just be as fucked up but I’m here to stick around. I’ll be here now, I’ll be here when you decided to trust me, and I’ll be here long after that too.” And it’s true. Woohyun promises to himself the same promise.

 

“But-”

Sunggyu feels Woohyun’s lips on his and he’s forgotten of whatever protest he had in mind, whatever excuse to keep Woohyun away from him.

 

He’s scared, but he thinks it wouldn’t hurt to give Woohyun a chance. Trusting someone is difficult for him but he thinks he’s in love with Woohyun too, so he doesn’t mind.

 

Sunggyu wraps his arms around Woohyun’s neck and pulls him closer. He can feel Woohyun’s smile against his lips as they kiss.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I like comments, so leave one!


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